My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
