pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
