i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
