Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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