yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
