I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
