i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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