That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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