I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
