her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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