My room smells like vodka and shame
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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