That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Randomize
