so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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