When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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