FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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