discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
