your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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