Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My dick has a subreddit
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
