There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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