I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
