I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
