Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
