Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
