idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
