he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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