It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
