Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
