I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we're making bets on your personal life
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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