i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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