Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
