i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my sisters under your porch take her home
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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