But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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