I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
