i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize