How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
