Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
