im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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