How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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