I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
