Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
