She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
