google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
