so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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