Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
