Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
