hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize