You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
