Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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