My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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