just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
