I love black thongs
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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