Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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