Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
