first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
two words: eviction party
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
