PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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