he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
