Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
