I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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