Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
