She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
