Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
